*sultry voice*: "Are you arriving too early in the bedroom? Stop making excuses!"
Aforementioned children/innocent old people/naive Christian teens no doubt wonder how a nasal-delivery spray could cure the problem...
THURSDAY, 3:15 p.m.
"Dammit honey, where are you?"
MEANWHILE...
"Sorry Deb, I'd come to lunch with you but I'm talking to the Prime Minister on MSN. Or, as I like to say, talking to the PM on IM. I'm going to berate him with a steady stream of disappointed smileys and 'Nudges' until he signs Kyoto."
FRIDAY, 9:46 a.m.
"I'm sure she said quarter-to-ten...?"
MEANWHILE...
"Well, let me tell you, the only thing that my husband gets up for in the night... is to go to the bathroom! Get it? The only thing he gets UP for in the night, is to have a slash!"
SATURDAY, 11:05 a.m.
"I'm certain Dorothy said we could have some 'private time' while the kids were at Soccer..."
MEANWHILE...
"Remember kids, if anyone asks this SUV is not mine, OK? I might be a mom who takes her kids to play soccer, but I will not be one of those 'Soccer Moms'."
SUNDAY (REST)
MONDAY, 3:25 p.m.
"Mm, I guess I'm a bit early, but I can wait. I should err, cut my toenails or something. I hope she didn't say Tuesday. God, I'm gonna feel like such an idiot if she said Tuesday..."
MEANWHILE...
Man: "Hey lady, there's a snake on this plane."
Flight-Attendant/Wife: "Is this the part when I ask 'Where?' and you say 'In my pants', sir? Because if I hear that fucking joke one more time I'm going to upturn this pot of coffee and colourful meal right into someone's lap, capiche?"
"I think I'm just going to go home, make myself a nice cup of tea." *twiddles thumbs* "Yeah. I could really go some tea right now."
1 comment:
Nasal spray? Does it get rid of hayfever too?
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